Lessons from a Hollywood Multimillionaire: Why "Stuff" Isn't All That
From the time I started fourth grade, my after school ritual consisted of scooping myself a bowlful of Breyers ice cream, plopping myself down on the couch, and turning on Oprah. I ADORED Oprah - I loved her "Favorite Things," her brightly colored cashmere sweaters and her perfectly blended persona of warmth and bite. I admired her tenacity and her strength, and regarded her as part monarch, part bestie. I enjoyed Oprah's more lighthearted segments and was deeply affected by her grittier ones. But one segment in particular struck me, as it continued to foster my natural love for organizing, and has stayed with me until today.
The segment featured Oprah's interview with Tom Shaydac, a multimillionaire Hollywood director who has brought us Blockbusters like Bruce Almighty and Patch Adams. For some time, Tom was living the luxe Hollywood lifestyle - he called a 17,000-square-foot mansion home, had a collection of antique cars and private jets, and bumped elbows with movie stars at exclusive parties. But after coming face to face with death in a traumatic bike accident, Tom recalls one day when he was taking in his supposed "dream lifestyle," only to realize that "I was standing in the house that my culture had taught me was a measure of the good life...struck with one very clear, very strange feeling: I was no happier."
Tom continues to explain to Oprah that our culture's philosophy of "taking everything we can" is an incredibly toxic idea, and even goes as far as to call it "cancerous." He says that an excess of things does not make us happy, rather, kindness and community provide a full and joyous life. With this newfound wisdom in tow, Tom traded in his mansion for a tiny mobile home and exchanged his car collection for a bike. He feels that being surrounded only by the few things that bring him joy allows him to focus on what is truly important to him, and says he has never been happier.
Tom's reformed lifestyle is extreme, and neither I nor he would ever suggest that his lifestyle is ideal for everyone. For example, while I like to maintain a clutter-free space and only own things that make me happy, that number of things certainly exceeds Tom's number (and I would certainly never voluntarily live in a mobile home!). But that's the whole point - the amount of belongings that we need is unique to each of us. Rather than comparing my collection of shoes to someone else's collection, or to what I think I am "supposed" to have based on cultural influences, I should have the amount of shoes that I need, that makes sense for my lifestyle, and that makes ME happy. If a large family wants a spacious home so that their kids will have more room to thrive, that is very different than wanting a spacious home simply because it is what thy neighbor has.
When I organize for my clients, I bear Tom's philosophy in mind by helping them decipher which of their belongings truly bring them happiness, and which are just space fillers. And you know what? I have yet to find someone who misses a single thing that they have gotten rid of. I wholeheartedly believe that having too much stuff clutters the mind and tarnishes the soul, and collecting memories is far more worthwhile than collecting things. I encourage you to look around at your space and ask yourself - does this make me happy? If the answer is "no," consider purging your belongings, or get in touch with me if you'd like help simplifying your space. So much of life is unpredictable, but our space is one thing we can control.